Beyond What I Feel

Life is absolutely crazy right now.  I have never been busier, never been so stretched, never been more scared,  never been more excited and never been more at peace.  Without a doubt, this is the most radical thing we have ever done.  However, in the midst of it all, there's a peace that truly passes ALL understanding.  It's been unwavering, engulfing and complete--despite the craziness we've been experiencing.

I was asked how I am doing emotionally.  Well . . .terrified, excited, overwhelmed, joyous, petrified, amazed, humbled, inadequate, (did I mention really scared?)  all come to mind within seconds of each other.  Beyond that, deep down there's a certainty and peace that our family is exactly where we need to be right now.  Has it been easy?  No, not at all.  We are being stretched beyond what is even close to comfortable.  Worth it?  Yes.

What is this doing to our faith?  We are being stripped of our security and dependency on ourselves.  I am finding that every breath is a prayer as I reach out to God to give me wisdom, strength, peace, etc.   As I am forced into a position of complete reliance on Him, I am learning to trust and rest like never before.  Surrender is a little easier as I recognize that a life given over to the hands of God brings joy, peace . . .and adventure like never before.

My children are sharing hopes, dreams and vision in incredible new ways.  Miracles are unfolding before our eyes!  

Now what?  The days until departure are quickly melting away.  Rwanda is calling our name, but the "to do" list still feels overwhelming, and we are being pushed to the limit.  We are finding ourselves surrounded by love and support and feel very humbled to be a part of such a giving community that will enable us to impact people around the world. While leaving our community and church will be the most difficult, we know that God has plans for us, plans to prosper us and not to harm us, plan for our hope and future.