Identity

The tops of my cupboards look especially bare.  The collection that had filled in this gaps for so many years is now either packed or set aside to be sold. As I wrapped the last of my teapots, I couldn't help but feel like I was losing a bit of my identity.  Since getting married, I have collected teapots.  It was a unique collection with a story that always brought a smile to my face.  Now, with Rwanda looming, this collection won't be any good collecting dust or sitting in boxes.  The time had come to let it go.

"Letting go" has become commonplace.  Letting go of some things--like the teapots--has come easier than expected.  However, letting go of other things have defined us have been incredibly difficult.  For example, Kim has always been the "eavestrough guy".  Letting go of his job and identity (despite having AMAZING men to take over) has been very hard.  

For me, letting go of the homeschool support group over a year ago started a transition that has been hard.  I loved being able to be a resource and connector for homeschoolers. However, it was not something I could continue with.  I learned through that time that sometimes a God will ask you to let go of things that you love, or ask you to lay something down when it's going well.  This is where it can be challenging.  How much easier it is to let something go when it's already tough! The challenge goes deeper when you feel your identity is wrapped up in whatever it is you are being asked to surrender.  

I suppose a deeper question with that is looking at where our identity actually lies.  If I allow my identity to be wrapped up only in what I do, I am limiting what I CAN do.  If I only see myself as a homeschool support group leader, what happens when I am moved elsewhere?  What if my identity is in what I own?  Honestly, that is only stuff--things that are temporal and easily raced.  Even if I place my identity in who I am, it can be short-term and unclear (who I was as a teen? Who I think I am? Who I want to be?). So where can my identity be?  

When it comes down to the heart of the matter, what matters most to me is being who God wants me to be and allowing Him to direct my steps.  Right now, it will be serving Him wherever I am planted and not limiting myself to how I see myself. It's surrender, letting go and choosing to trust God like we've never trusted Him before . . .and it is good.

As for the teapot collection?  Well, next week we will be auctioning the teapots off in hopes of raising more funds for Rwanda.  The story?  Well, in Kim's family, however many teapots a bride gets in her wedding showers and on her wedding day, that's how many children she will have.  I ended up getting eight.  So I decided to break the tradition & start a collection.  I ended up with over one hundred!  Hmm, we will be caring for orphans and ministering to local children . . .maybe there's more to these teapots then I realize . . .