So What's the Point?

My husband came home from a meeting with an alarming stat of how many children, raised in a Christian home, decide to not attend church once they reach adulthood. It's something I've seen, but until now (where my teens are fast approaching adulthood), I really didn't pay attention. This poses a much deeper question of why we do what we do, are we simply "Going through the motions" as the Matthew West song says? What makes the difference? I believe it's a sense of purpose . . . But ask me again in 20 years:)

So often I have seen, heard and asked "what's the point?". Purpose. It's been said that if you aim for nothing, that is what you will get. This is so true in life, both in long term and short term goals . . .even with hopes, dreams, parenting, etc. Like so many other lessons in life, I can tie this back to our trip to Mexico. Our purpose in setting up chairs for 3 years was our mission's fund, our purpose for the trip to Mexico was to get our thoughts and focus off of ourselves and onto the needs of others. Our ultimate goal was accomplished and we've come home with a renewed focus.

In saying that, however, I am not portraying that we "have it all together". . .I have so much growing to do and our family is no where near perfection.

Since I started homeschooling,10 years ago, my goal has been to always instill in my kids a sense of purpose for them and their lives. This can be exemplified through their curriculum, activities and even their free time passions. I've had to recognize that each of them are different and allow them to be free to be who they have been called to be. Now, as I have 3 teens, I see different giftings rise up in them.

I cannot control their future choices, I have to trust that the seeds planted will bear fruit in the right season. I can, however, present opportunities for them to recognize that they have gifts and strengths to offer others, and, my husband and I need to lead by example by demonstrating that we have gifts and strengths to offer those around us. We can serve wholeheartedly, love wholeheartedly, and believe that God will direct us to where we can make a difference.

God says that when you seek Him with your whole heart, you will find Him--don't be afraid to seek Him for His purpose for you!

Walk by Faith, not in fear

Well, it's the new year, and I have to say that I am very glad to be in 2013.  Christmas this year was challenging . . . and not in the way I thought it would be.  I was expecting to have a hard time adjusting back to the general greed that is associated with the season of "giving and getting", that proved to be a huge weight taken off the shoulders of our entire family.  The challenge came in other ways.

From December 14th on, our oldest was very sick.  At first it looked to be a bad case of the flu (diagnosed as Influenza A), when he took a turn for the worse, we took him to the ER.  First guess was the flu, however tests revealed further problems.  Nathan's liver was inflammed.  There was concern for his other organs, so he was watched carefully to see if surgery was required.  Thankfully, we got to share Christmas night with him at home.  He was thin, weak and exhausted, but home.  When he returned to the hospital 2 days later (poor guy, on his 16th birthday), he was starting to look more like himself.  That's when I got the phone call . . . "hepatitis A" was the diagnosis, most likely from Mexico . . . guilt, fear and condemnation engulfed me as I tried to wrap my mind around the diagnosis. 

Before our trip, I was praying about whether or not to get the Hep A immunization . . . and honestly, I didn`t feel the need.  I had a peace about it.  After Nathan came down sick, I found myself questioning God and condeming myself.  Then, the panic set in.  This is highly contagious--though no one else in the family (or the team from Mexico) ever got sick or showed any symptoms.  However, we had been hosting people from the moment we returned home.  I needed to contact everyone who came to our home during a certain time frame (wow, talk about humbling).  I felt guilty, ashamed, crushed and scared to open my home again. 

Our family was quickly immunized against both the flu and hep A.  Further research with the health unit had us questioning whether Nathan really did pick up the virus in Mexico, the conclusion was more likely he picked it up on the trip home through some sort of deli sandwhich--at least that`s our best guess (we will never know for certain).

On January 3, we took Nathan back for further tests and he was given a positive doctor`s report--no lingering side effects, he just needed to gain back the 17 lbs he lost (he had already gained back 12 lbs in 6 days, so no problem).  He`s completely back to normal now, with no worried of being contagious.  We are settling into routine and planning and saving for a return trip to Mexico (fully vaccinated for Hep A next time).  I have had to face my fears and open our home for guests--though the families we had over were already vaccinated. 

I know there is nothing to fear, I know there is nothing to worry about, I know that God is bigger, but it has been an exercise of faith over fear for me, deep in my heart. 

So where do I go from here? Forward, with no looking back.  I choose to walk without fear, I will choose to be obedient when God asks me to step out and I will be obedient no matter what. 

I am Thankful

Tonight I sit in my son's hospital room. It's the day before Christmas Eve and I am thankful. My memory takes me back to just after Christmas, 16 years ago, when Nathan was born. He came a month early, surprising us while we were celebrating Christmas near Red Deer. It was fluid in the lungs that hindered his breathing. I vividly remember my empty arms, as I was discharged from the hospital 2 days later, never having held my firstborn. The next few days were a blur as we visited NICU day and night. While it wasn't the most ideal start to motherhood, I am thankful.

The last 10 days have been hard. With several (including myself) in our family sick, those last-minute preparations for Christmas never got done. With my oldest being so sick he couldn't move, my thoughts have obviously not been on the "to do" or "to get" list. Never-the-less, I am thankful.

Despite how I feel, God is bigger. What does it truly matter, if I don't have 6 dozen shortbread in the freezer? Is it really critical that I fill the stockings with "stuff"? Will the family suffer if I don't get the playroom's carpets shampooed?

I realize that I asked God to help me prioritize over this Christmas season. Gifts were simplified, spending cut, and extra-curricular dropped (not exactly by choice, but when the family is sick . . .) Christmas this year looks different. Still, I am thankful.

When my oldest was born nearly 16 years ago, because he came in Red Deer, most of the family could meet him. Circumstances were not what we planned, but God worked the details out. Yes, I had to leave the hospital without my baby, but it was only for a short time. New Year's Day, we were all together as a family.

Now, I find myself in the hospital with my oldest. In the 16 years of raising 5 children, this is the first time any of them have needed to spend time in the hospital. Amazing, really.

I am thankful. My son is getting better, he's going to come home soon. We are in a place where the health care is rather remarkable. The circumstances of this Christmas are a bit less then ideal, but not devastating. Who am I to complain?

It's so easy to get caught up in the drama of everyday life and allow unexpected circumstances to set us into a tailspin. God hasn't promised us an exemption or pass when it comes to difficult or challenging times. He has said He would never leave or forsake us. He has said His grace is sufficient, God gives us peace in the midst of the less then ideal.

I see God taking care of our family. I know that He is in control. For that, I am thankful

Extreme Heart Makeover--Mexico Edition

It's been years since I've watched the show "Extreme Home Makeover". I guess the excessiveness in which the homes were built ended up being too much for my taste. However, for some reason. I recorded it this weekend and watched it over the last couple of days. This time, I didn't watch it so much from the perspective of the recipients, instead, my eyes (and heart) were drawn to those doing the building. The parallels between the home makeover and the house build our team did in Mexico were unmistakeable. It didn't stop there, however, I have began to see specifically where my heart has shifted and my view on life has changed.

The extreme home makeover tv show comes in and builds a new home for a family in a week. Often it's an "over-the-top" home that generally stuns and overwhelms the family. The generosity is obvious, yet it goes way beyond meeting the family's needs (whether truly beneficial or not, I don't want to say). What is incredible is how much a focused team can accomplish in such a short time. More often than not, the team walks away impacted by the joy of giving.

When we traveled to Mexico and did the build, we had the great privilege of seeing a family's life transformed. What started as a hut with tarps and irrigation piping ended with a strong walled home complete with windows, door and roof. We were able to see a house built, outhouse dug and a family given hope in only 5 days! What's even more amazing is what this build and trip did for our own family.

I think the first change I've seen in my family is the embarrassment of how much stuff we truly have. There's closets and boxes and seasonal clothes and then the things we just don't wear, use or need . . . Ugh, it's time to be more generous with what we have, resourceful with what's around us and reasonable with what we truly need.

The second change has hit me hard. I've never shed as many tears as I have in the last 2 1/2 months. My heart feels like it has been laid bare, as I've been overwhelmed by first, the expression of love and support from our church, second, by the incredible people we met on the trip and third, by the heartache and need we encountered. I've shared about our church and friends (again, thank you, your generosity still brings tears to my eyes), and I've shared a bit about the people I've met. Honestly, if we could return to Mexico tomorrow, to serve with any incredible people we met, we would. Our heart longs to be back. The men, women and children we've been able to get to know are daily in our thoughts and prayers. We see how God is moving, we see how His love is demonstrated daily and we see the impact that is being made on the community.

Most of the tears shed, however, have been for the needs we encountered. Daily, our hearts were touched by the poverty, pain, joy, and heartache we saw. In some, there was tremendous joy despite horrific circumstances, in others, a lifetime of pain reflected in the eyes of the very young. We were faced with things we never thought we would witness within driving distance (albeit a very long drive). We don't even look at our food the same way . . .after seeing the miles of greenhouses where much of our fruits and vegetables grown.

We were asked today if the trip was worth it . . .the years of saving, tears, sacrifice, driving, stomach ailments, fatigue . . . yes, a thousand times yes! It was a trip and an extreme heart makeover of a lifetime!

All To Jesus, I Surrender

Surrender, it's just one word, yet it can make such a difference. I remember when I was preparing for a mission trip to India and God brought me to a point of surrendering all that was near and dear to me at the time (even to the point of asking me if I was willing to risk my life). It wasn't a quick and easy choice . . .it took me over a week to surrender all that God asked of me. As a result of those choices years ago, my faith was multiplied.

Surrender takes on a whole new level when it goes beyond yourself. Surrender looks much different when you are now looking at a surrender of your spouse, your children, your home, etc. I can't help but sympathize with Abraham (or Sarah, for that matter) when he was asked to sacrifice Isaac. What would have been going through his head? Did he ever fear for the life of his child? What about Isaac? Did he sense that his life was on the line? What an incredible act of surrender!

When each of our children were born, we had them dedicated. It was a touching time in front of the church, and what were we doing? We were dedicating (or surrendering) our children to God.
So, after that, why are we surprised when God nudges us to surrender our family to Him?

It was a few years ago that one of my children approached me and said very seriously that they felt that they would not be staying in North America long term--they felt a call to missions. At that point, I had a whole new understanding and appreciation for my parents when they allowed me to spend 4 months in India as an 18 year old (later, when I almost died . . .I am sure they had some second thoughts). Surrender, when it impacts the life and well-being of those you care about, is probably the most difficult.

What we fail to understand is that God loves those we care about way more than we can ever comprehend. Surrender includes entrusting that which is precious to us into the hands of Someone who can truly protect, teach, guide, care for and love far better than I ever could.

So, back to my child . . . after that first second of panic, I felt like God reminded me that His plans and purposes were much bigger, and I could entrust this child in His hands). Time passed, I truly thought that I had surrendered my children . . .until one of my youngest sons told me in Mexico, that he didn't think he should ever go home because there was so much work for him to do there. My heart skipped a beat and tears filled my eyes because I could so easily see him involved in missions.

Yes, I know that this could all be a long time from now, but surrender isn't about missions, it's not about waiting for your kids to grow up, it's for today. Anything we hold too tightly to can easily get in the way of us trusting (or entrusting) God. So what is it that needs to be surrendered? For me, it is whatever comes to mind when I ask God. All to Jesus, I need to surrender.

Power of a Picture

It is said that a picture is worth a thousand words, if that is the case, our family holds a book's worth of memories. As I sort through over a thousand pictures, I am amazed at the stories they hold. Even more precious than the memories are the hopes, dreams and prayers they represent.

Before our trip, we were overwhelmed by the outpouring of support and encouragement our family received. As we traveled, we knew we were surrounded by prayer and support. Coming home has been even more precious.

As we look back, we are in awe of how smoothly the trip went. 32 people were brought together and we worked with amazing unity. The team was generally healthy, no injuries were suffered. The 70 hour (round trip) drive with 10 children went quite smoothly. Border crossings and military checkpoints were no problem. Every goal we set out to accomplish was met and every person impacted to some level by this trip. At every turn, we could see God at work. When the team pulled into Ensenada, we stopped at a grocery store. A pastor from a local mission that we were to visit was there. It was more than being at the right place at the right time. Never under estimate the power of prayer.

Throughout our trip, people were praying and God was taking care of us far beyond what we will ever understand. Little details, like being done the house early, freed up some men to assist the church with digging a grave (not sure how it would have been done without the extra help). Even having a nurse present to administer the last few injections to a lady dying of cancer, as hard as it was, provided an opportunity to share God's love and compassion. By themselves, these (and many more) details may seem insignificant, but together, they are a good reminder of how God's timing is perfect and how prayer can make a difference.

So, back to the pictures, what makes them so special? These pictures are a reminder. As I look over the pictures, I am reminded of how powerful a dream can be. I am also reminded that the impact of this trip to Mexico goes way beyond our family. The power of an impacted life can make a world of difference. These pictures are also a good reminder to pray--pray for the people we met, pray for an opportunity to return & pray for those seeds that were planted.

Since returning home we've witnessed more answers to prayer. The lady from the women's shelter who wanted to leave? The day after we left, she decided she wanted to stay and get some help. We will continue to pray that the cycle of pain and abuse will end here and that her and her children will experience the healing they need. The mission we stayed with was in need of a truck. The one that carried equipment to and from the work sight was failing fast-worn out, even by Mexico standards (now that's BAD). Today we received word that a truck was donated!

We rejoice in answered prayer! God is at work and Mexico will not be forgotten.

Now . . . back to sorting more of these pictures . . .

The Power of a Goal

It's been over a week since we've left Mexico and the memories only grow more precious to our family. Mornings are strangely quiet as we wake up to radio music instead of the chorus of rooster crows (usually beginning at 5 am). Settling into routine has been challenging since returning--the incredible momentum we had as a team is now diminished since we've achieved our goal, built a house, made an impact. . . and now returned home.

In some ways it's hard to believe that we've saved for 3 years, traveled 7000 km with 5 kids and been to Mexico . . . we did what we set out to do. Thankfully I don't feel a huge let down like I thought might happen, instead, the passion of what shifted in our hearts is fanning something deeper in all of us.

I have to brag a bit about our team. Our common bond was homeschooling, some were cousins, some good friends, but overall, the 32 people on the team were not incredibly close before the trip, but once there, the connection went deep. Within 24 hours of the team being brought together, the bond formed quickly. We were here with a common purpose and a vision to make a difference for God. When sickness plagued the different members of the team, the loss was felt.

Highlights for many were our evening team meetings where we shared what stood out as significant in our day. We were able to build up and encourage each other, challenge each other spiritually, have fun together and accomplish so much in a week. (Hmm, sounds a bit like what God wants in the church, doesn't it?)

So what brought such incredible unity? We were from different churches, different school boards and all different ages. What drew us together was a common goal, to serve together in Mexico--build a house, love the kids, and serve where needed. It was incredible to see how God used each of our skills, gifts and strengths. By the end of the week, we felt like we had received so much more than we gave, because of joy that comes with serving!

Again, the question is now what? What's our next goal? Well, our hope and dream is to build off of what God has already done. . . there's been a distinct shift in our hearts. Let's not get so caught up in our own world, when there's so much need in the world around us. Our pastor has been speaking about how to be rich (not necessarily with finances, but with all God has given us to share) . . . how timely! We come home with a reminder that we are rich indeed. Our hope and prayer is that God will use us where we are to make a difference for Him!