I am Thankful

Tonight I sit in my son's hospital room. It's the day before Christmas Eve and I am thankful. My memory takes me back to just after Christmas, 16 years ago, when Nathan was born. He came a month early, surprising us while we were celebrating Christmas near Red Deer. It was fluid in the lungs that hindered his breathing. I vividly remember my empty arms, as I was discharged from the hospital 2 days later, never having held my firstborn. The next few days were a blur as we visited NICU day and night. While it wasn't the most ideal start to motherhood, I am thankful.

The last 10 days have been hard. With several (including myself) in our family sick, those last-minute preparations for Christmas never got done. With my oldest being so sick he couldn't move, my thoughts have obviously not been on the "to do" or "to get" list. Never-the-less, I am thankful.

Despite how I feel, God is bigger. What does it truly matter, if I don't have 6 dozen shortbread in the freezer? Is it really critical that I fill the stockings with "stuff"? Will the family suffer if I don't get the playroom's carpets shampooed?

I realize that I asked God to help me prioritize over this Christmas season. Gifts were simplified, spending cut, and extra-curricular dropped (not exactly by choice, but when the family is sick . . .) Christmas this year looks different. Still, I am thankful.

When my oldest was born nearly 16 years ago, because he came in Red Deer, most of the family could meet him. Circumstances were not what we planned, but God worked the details out. Yes, I had to leave the hospital without my baby, but it was only for a short time. New Year's Day, we were all together as a family.

Now, I find myself in the hospital with my oldest. In the 16 years of raising 5 children, this is the first time any of them have needed to spend time in the hospital. Amazing, really.

I am thankful. My son is getting better, he's going to come home soon. We are in a place where the health care is rather remarkable. The circumstances of this Christmas are a bit less then ideal, but not devastating. Who am I to complain?

It's so easy to get caught up in the drama of everyday life and allow unexpected circumstances to set us into a tailspin. God hasn't promised us an exemption or pass when it comes to difficult or challenging times. He has said He would never leave or forsake us. He has said His grace is sufficient, God gives us peace in the midst of the less then ideal.

I see God taking care of our family. I know that He is in control. For that, I am thankful