Beauty in Simplicity

In case my last post was focused too much on differences, I want remind you once again of the beautiful country our hearts are drawn to.  As we adjust back to Canada, we find ourselves longing for Rwanda--despite the differences. 

 There's the slower pace of life, where relationships and family are important. Smiles and greetings are the norm as you walk through the village.  You are not too busy to talk to your neighbour, catch up with a friend or greet a stranger.  Laughter echoes over the hills as children delight in the most simple of toys--string wrapped around leftover paper or plastic and tied into a ball.  There you have tag, catch, soccer, capture the ball or whatever the imagination can create. 

Simple tools get the job done.  Everywhere you look, you see people hard at work, creative in making the most with what they have.  Laundry is done mostly by hand.  Cleaning with simple mops or squeegees.  Prepping and cooking at the orphanage was a group effort, peeling vegetables, sorting beans and working to prepare a meal.  We learned that you don't eat in public unless you have enough for all--there's a good picture of the generous heart of the society!

Why is it among the people who we perceive to have the biggest needs we see the most generous givers?  What lessons can we take from the many amazing cultures around us instead of always thinking the "West" has all the answers?  

What can we learn?  What can we give?  What can we share?  It starts with a shift in our perspective of other countries.  It's not about coming in to be the one saving, instead, how can we partner and work together?

 . . .and the greatest of these is LOVE.

Willingly Choose

While we were in Rwanda, we heard the term "expat" quite regularly.  Upon returning home, we looked up the definition. One read, "to willingly leave ones country in order to live elsewhere" another "to withdraw oneself from your native country".  By contrast, immigrant or migration worker emphasizes desperate need or relinquishing of your citizenship, expatriate is more of choosing . . .or sacrifice. 

It's been nearly two weeks since we left Rwanda.  While the visit in some way feels like a dream, the lessons and stirrings in our heart are far too real.  Coming home has not been the culture shock we anticipated, but instead, a clearer look at how different life would be like for our family in Rwanda.  

Little things that we can take for granted look very different in the heart of Africa.  For example: any processed or prepared food is triple to quadruple to what we pay in Canada.  Shopping or Market days are not all under one roof, so extra time is needed.  Being the mzungu (white person) will most likely continue to draw attention--no matter how long you are there.  Comforts, convenience, and all things familiar will not longer be nearby.  In essence, dying to one's self . . .

It's one thing to walk through this deep gulf of surrender for myself, but then add a family . . .is it fair?  How can we? Or really, as we live in this land of extreme abundance and excess . . .how can we not?  

Surrender, willingly give up, sacrifice--obey.  We give up convenience and sacrifice instant gratification. We let go of our security and everything familiar and experience a deeper trust in God.  We willingly let go of living like Canadians and embrace and learn from a new culture.  

Will it be hard?  Oh yes.  Will we face challenges? Absolutely.  What impact could Rwanda make on our family?  It would be completely life-altering.  

While Kim and I were in Rwanda, God brought each of our teenagers through their own process of surrender.  What once seemed to be so important no longer holds the highest priority in their lives.  We see God bringing all on a walk of surrender.  

Do we seriously see ourselves in Rwanda?  Yes, but there are still details to sort through.  Any transition takes time . . .so we wait and prepare as much as possible in the meantime.  We are trying to sell as much as we can, settle into a more subdued fall schedule and be prepared for when God says "Go".  We are prepared to obey, even if it means sacrifice. 

Home??

Back to our life in Canada. The time in Rwanda feels like a dream, but so much more.  As I was driving back home from an appointment, I caught the scent of diesel and instantly I longed to be back.  How do I begin to express the impact this trip made on my life? It was more than a mission, it was seeking out future possibilities for our family, for our future.  In discovering Rwanda, we didn't just want to see the beautiful, the needs, the land, we wanted to seek out what was challenging, difficult and heartbreaking.  If we are truly serious about living there, we couldn't  ignore the realities of the struggles we may face.  

Coming over as a white family would bring challenges.  Sacrifices would need to be made, the normal and comfortable would be stripped away.  I can understand that.  I experienced that while in India. So much is different in Rwanda, yet by the time we left, it felt comfortable. . .

What does this mean? Does it mean we are moving?  (Dozens are asking) well, quite honestly, IF God wants us there, we will go.  But, it's still a process, there's still clarifications we need, details to be sorted out . . .but, in it all, I am not stressed.  God will show us.

Settling back is challenging.  There is still the fatigue of jet leg, slight dizziness from malaria pills, reports to finish, school to plan and and a garage sale to prep for, plus a full calendar  . . .yet I am not stressed.  The fatigue will improve, the reports will be complied.  School prep (and supplies) will be ready in due time-if we start a few days late, it's ok. Garage sale is key, as funds will go back into our missions fund . . .good thing I have helpers:).  It will be fine.  As we learned in Rwanda--no worries.

The list of what I miss from Rwanda continues to grow, but at the top are the people.  I was so encouraged by Papa and Mama JoJo (so you know, when your first child is born, you take on that name as their Papa or Mama.  Kim and I would be Papa and Mama Nathan).  It's incredible how quickly your heart can connect with someone, regardless of race, status, etc.

I've heard that home is where your heart is.  If that's the case, I must hold a dual citizenship, as my heart is here with my family and there with the people of Rwanda.

Rwanda--What we are going to miss the most

Good morning from Rwanda . . .wow, that's the last time I will say that during this trip . . . Our suitcases are packed and waiting, we just finished a delicious breakfast and now we start to say goodbye. I am trying not to get too emotional, but this country has touched my heart so deeply, it will be hard to say goodbye.

So, what will I miss the most?  Every morning, when we get up, we are greeted warmly by everyone, "mwaramutse" (good morning) and a hand clasp or hand shake.  The bright smiles and welcoming faces will be missed.

At night, soon after the sun goes down, the chorus of frogs, crickets and toads sing a beautiful melody.  You could almost fall asleep to it, except for the interrupted roar of the traffic as it comes barreling down the hill.

The morning sounds are much the same.  The voices of children singing replace the alarm clock of Canada.  The sounds of the roosters and chickens in the neighborhood greet the rising sun and the soothing chatter of people all around add to the melody. 

Walking up and down the stairs have been good for the body (I never did count how many stairs are in the property . .. 100's, I think).  The stairs always are climbed faster with kids holding my hand and practicing their English with me. 

I will miss the cheerful visits with Mama JoJo as she comes early for a visit and a cup of mint tea.  Her gentle manner, encouraging words and deep faith both bless and challenge me. 

It will be sad to no longer see Kim with Papa JoJo walking around the property, fixing, improving, talking together as much as they can.  Though from completely different cultures, they have the same servant's heart and have become good friends.

In the afternoons, I will miss seeing the kids play and joining in with their many games.  We have played: capture the flag, parachute, what time is it Mr. Lion, red light green light, Canadian football, leap frog, and many, many more.  I will also miss sharing my story of Moshe (based on my travels to India) with the kids.  Every time they see me, they are asking for Moshe.  I am sure Kim will miss the kids getting so excited about "Chocolate (aka Banana, aka Sugar Cane) Box"--a drama about how too much of one thing can tempt you and separate you from God. 

The evenings will be different without family night--connecting with the kids, sharing stories, playing games, praying with them and just being together.  They've already memorized everything we've shared about our kids, if only they could somehow meet . . .

I will miss the drives (maybe not the crazy driving), but the people I see along the way--women and men balancing huge loads on their heads, people of all ages continually fetching water in the stained yellow and white jugs, little ones carrying babies on their backs, children working, children playing.  When we stop, they look up and excitedly wave at the "mazungus" in the truck. 

The landscape is so different from what we have.  Incredible terraced land (we found out mostly done by hand, by the prisoners), with buildings of all sizes, shapes and conditions, perched on the sides of the thousands of hills.  Villages every few kilometers grace the sides of the road, people everywhere.

I could go on and on. I can't say for certain that our family will be here or not, but I can say that whether you visit a country for 2 weeks, 2 months or 2 years, when it's time to leave, you leave a part of your heart behind and take a piece of the country with you to treasure always.

Snapshots of Rwanda

We leave in 24 hours.  Where has the time gone?  So how can I best share Rwanda with you?  (especially without pictures) . . . the best way is to share some "snapshots" of highlights with you.

Some of the first faces to greet us were the children who live here.  They are exuberant, friendly and love attention (what kid doesn't?).  We learned very quickly that there is no such thing as "personal space" here.  When we are out with the kids, they have their arms around my waist, some holding my hands, others stroking my hair, always sitting as close as possible to me.  With Kim, it is similar.  They sit on or beside him, the little ones often stroking his head or beard.

Outside the walls, the lack of personal space continues.  In the market,  you have to push your way through the crowds.  People will sit close, want to shake your hand, put their arm around you, etc.  It's not rude or offensive, it is part of the culture here.

When it comes to traveling, the roads are an adventure!  Thankfully, just outside the gate, lies the "black road" (highway).  It is a very nice road.  In our few adventures off of it, you are concentrating on not being thrown around the vehicle due to the incredible bumps!  On any road, passing is permitted . . .anytime.  Piki pikis (motor bikes) can weave in and out of traffic whenever.  Horns are essential for passing, turning, warning of upcoming hazards or police or greeting one another.  Signal lights are optional.  Large trucks do use their hazards on the hills--which is good, considering they are traveling at 10-15km/hr.

Shopping is an all-day event (or all week, depending on what you need). Market day is Wednesday, so fruit, veggies and basics are purchased.  The rest of the week, you can either try to get what you need at a local store, if it's in stock, or go to Kigali.  Even there, it may take a few stops to get what you need.  It took us 5 days and 3 stops to get a chainsaw repaired (I think that is "fast" by Rwandan standards).  This was going to the "home depot block" of stores.  If you have a craving for western food, be prepared to spend lots of money-a large box of cereal, $12, a small chocolate bar, $5. Fanta (pop) is close to $1 and is probably the most popular drink.  It comes in orange,coke, sprite, grape and citrus. 

People are incredibly friendly.  They are always waving, smiling and wanting to shake your hand--especially if you are Mazungue (white).  If you wanted to find a "personality" for Rwanda, it would be golden retriever--friends to everyone and not wanting to make anyone sad or disappointed.  It's easy to love the people and the culture here.

For now, these are some of the many snapshots of Rwanda.

Not Without Hope--Rwanda Genocide Memorial--part 2

We didn’t know what to expect at the memorial. I was very impressed at the effectiveness of how this memorial was set up. The genocide memorial walked you through several sections—pre-genocide, events leading up to the genocide, the genocide itself and what was left.  Then came the displays:  family photos, bullet-riddled clothes and finally the bones.  Upstairs reminded us of other tragic genocides of the last century—not restricting genocide to a certain nation or people group.  The hardest was the final room, pictures and stories of the Rwandan children, whose lives ended far too soon.

Each turn brought a new depth of grief, each display, heart break.  How does one begin to comprehend such destruction, death and hatred?  I realized how sheltered I had become.  We can get so comfortable with life that we forget the finality of death. One sentence struck me as we walked through the displays.  Following the devastating photos of the genocide, it was said, “Rwanda was Dead.” Shattered.  Destroyed.  Left without Hope.

As a believer, I don’t know if I have ever known such darkness or devastation.  Even in my hardest days, somehow hope in Christ brought me through.  I cannot fathom facing the extreme violence and heartache that so many suffered—with or without Christ. 

One cannot fathom the power of hope.  For survivors, it must have been such a slender  thread of hope that kept them going. Only by the grace of God.

I have heard it said that when horrific events like the genocide occur, God must not exist or not care.  I feel the opposite.  The sad reality is that sin has entered our world and is at work today.  Where I see God is when these events of happened and a person, family or country is left to pick up the pieces and rays of love shine through.  When a thread of hope exists after everything has been stripped away, you see God at work.  When forgiveness is extended even before an apology is offered, how can you deny the love of God?  When a lone survivor finds the strength to carry on, it is only by the grace of God. 

When I look around this land, I can sense the grief and mourning, but I also see strength, love and hope rising up.  The reality is a wound of this magnitude will take decades to heal, but in the midst of this pain, you see God’s grace and healing.  Where communities and friendships were divided for so many years, you now see a connection and comradery that knits these people together.

As we get to know the people and the culture, we are amazed at how much each one looks out for the next.  In a village, it’s not for the betterment of one, but the betterment of all.  Oh how I have so much to learn, for my community, for my church and for those God brings into my life.  May God take these lessons from Rwanda and bind them to my heart!

DeadlyBoxes--Rwanda Genocide Memorial--part 1

I never knew how hard my heart could cry—all while staying silent.  The weight of this grieving land hit hard today.  Before we came to Rwanda, it was recommended we watch two movies—Hotel Rwanda and Shake Hands With the Devil.  Both take you on a journey through the horrific genocide that devastated Rwanda in 1994.

The landscape of Rwanda is unlike anything I have ever seen, beautiful hills and valleys with terraced land throughout the country.  As we first drove to the home, the setting was eerily familiar—exactly what I had read about and seen with the movies.  I was traveling along roads where many had lost their lives.  Rwanda was no longer a far-off country with a devastating past, Rwanda had become real to me.

The memorial began with a brief history.  I didn’t know the Hutus and Tutsis were given those titles based on how many cows they had.  They were.  Lines of distinction were drawn between neighbors,  friends and family.  Relationships were strained and eventually destroyed.  People were put into boxes, boxes that ultimately shaped their future, boxes that determined their values and from where no one could escape.

How often are we guilty of doing the same?  In society, in media, in the church and sometimes even in families.  Oh why do we find satisfaction in categorizing people?  What is it that makes it easy to  idolize some and criticize others?  We were all created in the image of Christ.  Age, race, gender and social status do  not determine our value in the eyes of God.

When we came, we were surprised to hear that visiting the memorial was an unusual request.  We were even questioned on why we would want to subject ourselves to this type of horror. Each person has their own reason to visit such a sight or not.  This is not for me to judge, but I I will share why we went.  For Kim and I, I see how our itinerary has been directed by God.  We came, we settled in, and immediately started connecting with the kids and Papa and Mama JoJo. Mama survived the genocide.  Papa came to Rwanda after the genocide, so he joined us.  We fell in love with these people first, then we attempted to understand what has cut this country to the heart.

Processing what we have been and experienced will take time, I will share gradually, as God leads.  I am reminded of this passage in Ecclesiastes:

To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven:  A time to be born, a time to die, a time to plant, a time to pluck what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal;  a time to break down and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh.  A time to mourn and a time to dance.  Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

We’ve been sheltered from this kind of violent devastation.  What Kim and I are seeing is this isn’t just “some country”, these are our sisters and brothers.  The plight of the orphans in Kenya—these are our children, too. The women and children caught up in slavery in Cambodia, Mexico and other lands, these are our sisters, our daughters, the homeless and destitute in our own cities and towns, and they are our family.  Let’s not be bound by boxes, but let the love of God in us break down barriers.

For God so loved the world that He gave  His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.  For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.  

John 3:16-17

Rwanda, what we first saw (a more detailed version)

It only took a few minutes to fly over most of Rwanda as we descended into Kigali.  We flew over extinct volcanos and beautiful lakes.  As we landed, the air was scented faintly with wood smoke.  We were later told that the smell was from the burning garbage--surprising since it's not an unpleasant odor, more like the smell of campfires wafting through a campground.

Coming into Kigali International Airport, I noticed that everyone was dressed quite formal.  Men in dress shirts and dress pants, even the occasional suit and tie.  The women were elegant in skirts or dress pants and blouses.  You saw very few adults in t-shirts or jeans.  The immigration went smoothly for us, but every piece of paper was carefully checked. 

After collecting our luggage, we were warmly welcomed by the current mission family.  The parents and oldest son were returning to the US to get him settled into university.  The introductions and partings were very quick and we soon found ourselves immersed in downtown Kigali.  Kim and Sam (the oldest daughter) handled the money exchange and we were off again.  The crowded streets and use of a horn instead of signal lights brought back memories of India.  Perhaps the only differences were there weren't any cows wandering the streets and the bright vested police stood watching the traffic, ready to offer help when needed. 

Once we arrived at the compound, we were struck by the beauty of it.  The property sits on a hill, so it has several tiers with buildings on it.  At the top sits  the church, offices and classrooms with an open garden area beside it.  On the other side of the church there's a simple swing set and monkey bars as well as a small soccer field.  Down the stairs lies the dorms.  Each gender  has a wing with extra bedrooms and a sitting room  in the middle.  An awing stretches out to provide a sheltered courtyard.  On the other side of the dorms you find a clothesline.  The driveway ends in front of the dorms.  Stairs lead you down to the mission house and beside that is the cookhouse.  Down a few more stairs you reach Papa and Mama JoJo's house, a chicken coop, rabbit hutch and cow pen, with the washrooms for the kids behind.  A few more stairs down is the pig pen and banana and avocado trees.  Past the trees and out the gate is government property (because of the small river/creek) that the home can use  for gardens and fish ponds.

In the small creek, you see people coming to wash clothes, bathe, and collect drinking water.  On the busy roads you see people constantly walking, often balancing huge bundles on their heads.  Across the "black road" (highway) there's a few small stores, some selling cell air  time or food, etc.  On Wednesday, when we arrived, there was a large market just outside the property.  We hope to visit it next week.

Kigali is quite busy.  There is a shopping center that is very modern with a fancy grocery store,  movie theatre and coffee shop.  We stopped at the store for milk and were surprised to see the prices quite high, even compared with Lethbridge.  The typical "junk food" treat are probably at least double to what we would pay.

The weather is warm, but not extremely hot.  The air is fairly dry right now and the mornings are pleasantly cool.  The occasional cockroach gets in the house, but its not bad.  We haven't seen any rodents, but have seen toads, geckos on the walls and even a chameleon.  The kids say they have seen snakes, but Papa JoJo says it is rare.  Because  of the mountains, the sun seems to take it's time  to set, but when it's dark  it really is . . and it's very dark by 6:30.

There is a sense of uncertainty, you see that in the kids, as some who are here will be leaving when school starts (Monday).  This time of transition and the unknown isn't easy, but I am reassured that God know the plans that He has for each one here, plans to prosper and not to harm, plan for each one's hope and future. 

We continue to trust God to reveal His plans for our future as well as the future of this home in His perfect time.

Welcome to Rwanda

We've pulled into Rwanda and are wrapping up the first day.  The flights were straight-forward, 38 hours of traveling.  We encountered no hiccups with customs or coming in with the visas or luggage (aside from some very squashed chips).  It was great to briefly meet Ed and Deb as they leave for the States for the next few weeks.  We  are being graciously hosted by Grandma Dora,  Samantha, Keira, Caleb and Papa and Mama JoJo. 

The mission house is beautiful and the children so enthusiastic.  I am in awe of the property and the potential here.  The land, wow, when we first landed, I was instantly reminded of the Okanagan Valley.  The warmth, the trees, the mountains, just beautiful!  As we drove through the city, the exotic smells, buildings and traffic brought me back to India (and in some ways, the more recent trip to Mexico).  The land is rugged and beautiful with people everywhere.  You see houses that rival some of the top homes in Lethbridge and tiny, pieced-together dwellings hoping to provide some sort of shelter for a family.

I guess what strikes me as amazing is just the fact we are in AFRICA!  God is so Good!!!

Please keep us in prayer as we seek out wisdom for what God wants us to see.

Sadly, I can't post any pictures yet, but I will as soon as possible.

Thank you and goodbye for tonight from Rwanda!

Ready for take-off

So, what does 200lbs of luggage look like?  Aside from some rather heavy suitcases (agony for Kim, who packs incredibly light), the requested items were much different from what we would have guessed.

We were asked to bring party supplies--hats, balloons, streamers, noisemakers, candy and piñata.  Oh wait, there's more--goodie bags, crocheted hats, socks, small toys, games, frisbees, school supplies.  Then we brought requested items for missionary families, western food, chips, chocolate, personal items.  Then, who wants to come empty handed for right now (since the party isn't until November), so bubbles, jewellery, glow sticks, water balls and candy are added.  Plus, tools, a parachute (for playing, not the plane ride) sunscreen and bug spray fill the crevices.  Our things are stuffed into carry-ons and are ready to go.  Whew! What I couldn't help but think of is possibly filling 14 suitcases like this should our family go to Rwanda (the stress level was already intense enough with 4).

This trip will be one of seeking out what is best and gaining a better understanding of the country of Rwanda.

Here is our itinerary:

August

5 leave Calgary 7 pm

6 fly from Toronto to Kigali via Rome & Addis Ababa

 7 arrive, connect with Ed & Deb briefly, get settled at the home, meet kids

8 home/village

9children/ village/home repairs

10 memorial Kigali?

11 church

12 pastor Kelly's contact? Fulgence

13 City  of Joy Todd Ellington 

14 Connect  with villagers/kids 

15 sights in Rwanda? Further connections?

16 Craig & Ruth Fehr?

17 Feeding  program Home of Hope

18 church

19 leave 4:00 pm

20 arrive Calgary

21 return home

Distractions, Division, Disappointment, Discussion, Devotion

Sleep is overrated, or at least absent.  Maybe it's because of the millions of details rushing through my head, or it could be that latte I was given at 5:35 pm, or because of the much-needed "discussion" Kim and I had 11:30 pm . . .whatever the reason, it's 1:15 am and I am still awake.  

July was a crazy month.  What began as storms in June, became tidal waves of work in July.  Kim was  nearly drowning in calls for work (a good thing), while still fighting a knee injury (not so good).  So 12-14 hour work days didn't leave much time to focus on Rwanda.  I knew work was crazy, but didn't understand how intense the pressure was.  At the same time, I was focused on Africa--probably a bit too much:(  While the Kenya team walked through a fiery trip, being caught in our own separate worlds didn't exactly build family unity.  

Misunderstanding led to disappointment . . ., but sometimes it takes these disappointments and even frustrations coming to a peak in order for a resolution to take place.  Reality is there will always be disappointments in a marriage or relationship, so there will be plenty of opportunities for those "discussions" which are most productive when concluded with an "I am sorry" or "I forgive you". 

So why does this bug me so much?  Probably because we are going to be on an airplane to Africa soon and we really SHOULDN'T be disagreeing/disappointing or misunderstanding each other . . .after all, aren't we  . . ."missionaries" called to be "perfect"? (tongue in cheek, complete with sarcasm).  Ouch!  Am I supposed appear perfect or real?  Hmm, what would Jesus do?

The bible never glossed over the imperfections of the many heroes (who happened to be human).  Perfection wasn't required from humans, instead grace and love was demonstrated.  God used the most unlikely to change the world.  

My biggest fear in going to Rwanda?  Making a mistake and offending someone.  Chances are it will happen.  So, when it does, will I never show my face again?  No, as hard as it will be, I will admit my mistake, apologize and keep trying.  The reality is that we all will make mistakes, argue, be grumpy, have bad days or worse, but does that stop us from trying to make a difference?  I hope not!  You are not expected to achieve perfection in order to be used by God, no one, aside from the Son of God, is perfect.  Just be willing to step out.

I think I can sleep now, there's clear communication between Kim and I,  hope for what is to come and an excitement for a great adventure.  Hey, if God can use us imperfect people, He can use you, too!