We had decided to return back to Canada to do the final effects for Renae. While doing so, We had asked for two dear friends to help us come and pack up the house and clean up business good. In the process, we as a family pondered life,and really grieved together as a family. We saw several small miracles happening this time. One big divine encounter happened when dear friends working around us had contacted a grief councelor our behalf. We found out she was from a Cdn city close to where we lived, and having worked in Kigali for a couple years. Cool, this counsellor knew of Rwandan and Canadian culture. We were able to have several sessions in the brief time there, and help with a foundation to work together. I found out after the fact that many people were working around the clock to try to get us home as quickly as possible. This does not normally happen, especially with a national holiday in the process. Emotionally, we could not stay in our mission house, because we had did some extra work cleaning and making it special for her returning home, only to have our lives turn sideways in the afternoon.
The compassion home we stayed at had young children for the youngest two to play with. Both this family and the next door family had dealt with family tragedies that helped us understand more of the grieving process. We saw so many small things come together in a few days. Long story shortened, we were able to pack up all things, complete business,havae a memorial service, and secure Renae to come home safely in around six days, probably ought to take several weeks. Only God could have made this possible. Govt agencies there want original paperwork, and take their time, somehow the process came through when it needed to, although it was very trying at the time.
The last day before heading back to Canada was a designated time at a beautiful lake. This was so important for us to officially say goodbye to this land, but also to really grieve in a proper way. It was so hard to realize the only reason we were there, well, is because she wasn't.
How does life continue somehow? Now what? I know these questions rise up from any who lost a close person. I have to wonder if the disciples said the same questions around the cross of Jesus. I wonder if people in distant areas did not hear the news for a time, maybe as long as several months. Would those same people heard eventually that He rose again?
While the last days in a compassion house, I got to spend a lot of time looking across the valley and picturing what was going on in the beginning of the genoside, but I had to wonder the same questions. What really happened here? Who would clean up the ugliness of the multitude of bodies? How does life continue now? Is there any hope anywhere? Yes, there is. I got the privilege to talk and grieve with some young young people who trusted me enough to tell their stories. Just these encouraged me enough there is hope, you can survive, God uses the picture for a bigger good. I just have to pick up the pieces, and give them over to Another who can do so much more with it.
As I try to compile this later on, I am in a thick emotional fog. How do we do the nessassary things? How does life continue somehow? Now what? I know these questions rise up so frequently in my own head. I just have to pick up the pieces..God can still use them.
Yes He can. Trusting Him to show you.
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