Soar, Run, Walk

The countdown is coming faster than I ever anticipated and the workload (and weariness) is great than I ever thought.  It's with a bit of panic that I realize that November is coming this week . . . 2 1/2 months until we leave . . .even as I write this, my heart skips a beat and momentary panic grips me, until I remind myself of what God says . . .

Isaiah 40:28-31

New Living Translation (NLT)

28 Have you never heard?
    Have you never understood?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of all the earth.
He never grows weak or weary.
    No one can measure the depths of his understanding.
29 He gives power to the weak
    and strength to the powerless.
30 Even youths will become weak and tired,
    and young men will fall in exhaustion.
31 But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
    They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
    They will walk and not faint.

God has promised His strength in areas exactly where we need it.  Everyone goes through times when we need His strength.  As we trust in God, I am amazed how he strengthens us in so many unique ways.  

For example, there are times when we need the ability of eagles--to soar above whatever we are facing, learning to anticipate the wind gusts and allow them to carry us.  There's a sense of solitude, separation and withdrawing, all for the renewing of our strength.  

Now, what about running and not growing weary?  To me, this demonstrates endurance.  Being able to keep going, despite the circumstances and intense pace.  A camel is a good example of perseverance or endurance.  They face intense weather, drought and great distances, but they keep on going, no matter what.  Endurance is needed when much is required of us--but the key is knowing that we are running in God's strength and not our own.  

The last point in the verse really looks at weariness--walking without fainting. These must be the most difficult of circumstances, where one is overwhelmed with life, grief, circumstances or  . . . Here is where God comes alongside us, and gives us just enough strength for the next step, the next minute, hour or day, or even enough strength to draw our next breath.  

God's strength looks different for each one of us, reaching us exactly where we need it the most.  He is our strength, our hope, our all in all.  

Today, I feel weary, but am reminded that as I wait on God, He will give me the strength that I need today. . . and take care of my tomorrows, too.

Not my Toothbrush

It was a very productive week.  My mom came down and we began sweeping through the main floor, sorting, giving away and cleaning as we went.  After the forth or fifth trip to Value Village with give-aways, I was finally beginning to feel that I had a handle on the massive downsizing of possessions.  

I was at the kitchen table sorting through all the bathroom stuff gathered when our four-year-old came in.  When he saw his toothbrush sitting on the table, he asked in horror, "Are you giving away my toothbrush, too?".  He had silently endured the reducing of his clothes and toys, but the toothbrush, now here he was drawing the line.

This is when another reality of what we were planning hit me.  We are in the process of stripping away everything familiar and exchanging it for new, uncomfortable and the unknown.  From the perspective of my four-year-old, he was losing everything and it was starting to get scary.  In reality, our perspective is not much different.

"Happily terrified" is the best way to describe where we are.  We are stepping out into the unknown, choosing to leave behind a familiar job, house, city, friends and family.   We know God is directing our steps and has plans for us in Rwanda.  It will be a foreign land, new language, different culture and brand new life.  Never-the-less, we know that this is where God wants us.

Who knew that God could use us?  We are just an ordinary family, there's nothing special or exceptional about us, so why?  All I can think of is how amazing God's grace is!  God takes special delight in using the most unlikely to carry out His plans--all you need to do is be willing.

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11 NLT)

We are happily terrified to step out.  God will continue to direct our steps as we declutter, raise support, pack and prepare for this adventure.  Thank you for your continued prayer and support.

This week, please pray that God will bring in the right renters for our home.

Thank you!

Preschool Dreams

Children and children's ministry have always been close to our family's heart.  It was children's ministry that brought Kim and I together, and children's ministry that really opened the door for us getting connected within our church.  Most recently, when our family went to Mexico, the involvement with the preschool was a highlight.

When we first found out about Rwanda, we were unsure about our involvement, since there wouldn't be many children.  However, as the day draws closer, we are discovering that our work in Rwanda will actuality be closely related to working with children.  The placement of orphans is not as easy as first thought, so we will still have between 10-18 orphans.  In addition, as we look towards reaching out to the community, one of the greatest needs is that of a nursery school.  

A preschool will be opened the first week of January, with our family being able to step in and help once we arrive.  What is exciting is this will draw on gifts and strengths of each one of our children, right down to the youngest!  How exciting to see a purpose for each of us as we prepare for this trip to Rwanda.

I think what stands out as the greatest lesson in all of this is that God knows our hopes and dreams.  When we first were asked to consider this trip, what would have happened if we would have closed the door on this opportunity just because it looked as though we would not have been working as much with kids? Just because circumstances don't look the way we think they should look, it doesn't mean God is not at work.  Too often we focus on the here and now, forgetting that God sees the whole picture.  

May we not forget to trust God with every part of our lives.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. (Proverbs 3:5, 6 NLT)

Intention Purpose

It is 90 days until we move, 3 months, 1/4 of a year.  We've been working hard on school, reducing our things, intense business training, preparing crafts to sell to fundraise, planning for what we will be doing in Rwanda . . .and trying not to panic.  Now don't get me wrong.  We KNOW we are to be there, but the process of preparing for Rwanda is just that--a process.

Along this journey, the life lessons are adding up to be too many to count.  Probably the biggest life lesson that is standing out to me right now is that of PURPOSE.  A few days ago, one of my kids had a dream.  He was so excited to share it with me, he could barely get it out.  His eyes were bright with enthusiasm and his voice went higher with each word as he shared how in his dream he was able to help plan a game at a school. He finished by saying that even the older kids played too (a big deal when you are only 7).  What was so amazing is he realized that he had a purpose and a job to do. 

Purpose--"intention", "determination", "goal".  What is incredible is that God created each one of us with a purpose, with intention, with a goal set in mind.  A few months ago, our pastor shared how God wrote all the days of our life, before a single day had passed (Psalms 139:16).  It's amazing to see how God has a clear intention or purpose for each one of us. He has gifted us with skills, abilities, personalities and strengths with a distinct purpose in mind.  How incredible is that?

It's easy to drift through life wondering what our purpose is or trying to fulfill the purpose of someone else. Too often, I've found myself falling into that trap of wondering why I couldn't' be more like . . . It's taken me way too long to acknowledge that just maybe God created me the way I am for a distinct purpose.  Instead of looking to others to shape who I was to be, I started looking to God for my purpose and direction.  It was at that point that my life took a dramatic shift. 

About 3 years ago, we went to a family camp where the speakers taught on personality types, strengths, weakness and accepting one another as how God created them.  This camp changed our lives.  As we explored our personality types further, we began to see how God created each of us unique and each personality has incredible strengths.  When we took a course on gifts led by our pastor just over a year later, we began to discover our strengths and purpose as a family.  This led us to lay aside certain involvements and focus on others that would work towards strengthening our family. 

The point in all of this is saying that each one of us has a purpose.  There's not one purpose more grand than another.  It's been frustrating to hear people say that they wish they could do what we are doing.  Why?  If you are fulfilling the purpose you know that God has called you to fill, you are exactly where you need to be.  Each of us have a purpose given by God.  They can be for a time, season or a lifetime.  It comes down to being willing to ask God what His purpose is for you . .. and just listen.  He will show you, He will direct you.

http://www.ttifamilyfirst.com/parent.php

This is a great link to a personality/strength test that helped us with finding our strengths and gave us great tips on communicating with one another.

Humbled

The best way to describe how I've been feeling the last few days is "humbled".  Now this has had both positive and negative connotations to it.

For example, having my house turned upside down due to renovations and getting surprise company can be a bit humbling (embarrassing, humiliating)  Or, having my husband and his coworkers try to walk into the garage crammed with both work and house stuff can bring out some humble pie . . .and I don't even want to mention where the back yard is in all of this . . .it is not that my housekeeping skills are lacking (much), honestly, it just feels a bit overwhelming right now.  Even the fact that I can't get to blogging has added to my general taste of "humble pie"...

However, on the flip side, I am humbled (grateful, in awe of, overwhelmed) by all that God has been doing.  First of all Kim's business. We have had the great privilege of being in the process of training a family to carry it on for us.  To be honest, what good does a business with one employee do when you leave the country? Our biggest concern were the customers.  Who would make sure they were getting a quality job done?  This wasn't something that could be just handed off to anybody.  When we were approached by this family (even before we were "advertising" we were looking for someone), we knew God was at work.  Seeing how they share Kim's passion, workmanship and business ethic is truly a gift from God.  

Another area of humbling has been financial and support raising.  We are a single income family, there's not room for a lot of extras.  Yet, we are moving to Africa . . .this takes money.  It's been humbling asking for support and more humbling when people offer to support us.  This strips away our independence and forces us to recognize we are part of a much bigger picture.  It's not just the "Wilson Family" going to Rwanda. It's a team--those who support us, pray for us, give one time--each playing a key role in what will be happening overseas.  

I am learning that it's way beyond what I see and feel.  The reality of what we are stepping out into is so beyond what I can even comprehend, I find myself being stripped away of my securities and brought to compete and utter dependence on God.  Humbled.