Not My Child!!!

One of the most amazing parts of this journey to missions to Africa has been the incredible words of wisdom given to us. As crazy as it seems, there's not a hype or giddiness about this possible life-changing event. It's been an agonizing, slow surrender, with an underlying peace.

Just yesterday, my husband met with a wise friend who challenged us to think about the worst possible scenario and process how we would deal with it.

A mission trip is not a honeymoon period of highs with a few lows, instead, it's challenging, tough, and lonely, with a few bright spots. It is getting past the glamour of short-term and recognizing the battle of the long-term, without the familiar, safe and secure.

When I think of surrender, I have to say that probably the easiest is to surrender ins my own life. However, the thought of possibly losing my husband, takes the surrender to a deeper level . . .okay, so God can take care of me, right? Now, what about the reality of losing one of my kids? Now wait a minute! God has plans and purposes for them, He wouldn't really ask me to give up my child, would He? I've heard it said that God won't ask us to do what He hasn't already done. John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, He gave His only son . . ." Oh. I see.

I have never lost a child, never, not even in early pregnancy. I cannot fathom the grief that pierces a mother's heart when she experiences such a loss. Now, God is asking me to surrender? I cannot think of a single scripture that promises you a life without loss, grief or surrender, but there are countless that speak of God's comfort, love, and hope for a future.

This surrender is not limited to when you approach the mission field. Thinking of the bombing of the Boston marathon and how a young boy lost his life, it was not in a "dangerous territory", this tragedy took place in a safe place.

I am not getting into the power of praying for protection, etc, there is incredible power in prayer and might in praying scripture, however, where it all starts is a deep rooted surrender in the heart of the parent. Can we fully entrust our child into the hands of God no matter what happens?

This is what God is asking me to do. I need to surrender myself and my children to whatever may come, good or bad, life or death. This could be what God requires, or we may not all come home from Africa. If that were the case, I can't say how I will handle this, my only hope and prayer is that somehow, only by the grace and strength of God will I be able to keep stepping forward.