Tonight I sit in my son's hospital room. It's the day before Christmas Eve and I am thankful. My memory takes me back to just after Christmas, 16 years ago, when Nathan was born. He came a month early, surprising us while we were celebrating Christmas near Red Deer. It was fluid in the lungs that hindered his breathing. I vividly remember my empty arms, as I was discharged from the hospital 2 days later, never having held my firstborn. The next few days were a blur as we visited NICU day and night. While it wasn't the most ideal start to motherhood, I am thankful.
The last 10 days have been hard. With several (including myself) in our family sick, those last-minute preparations for Christmas never got done. With my oldest being so sick he couldn't move, my thoughts have obviously not been on the "to do" or "to get" list. Never-the-less, I am thankful.
Despite how I feel, God is bigger. What does it truly matter, if I don't have 6 dozen shortbread in the freezer? Is it really critical that I fill the stockings with "stuff"? Will the family suffer if I don't get the playroom's carpets shampooed?
I realize that I asked God to help me prioritize over this Christmas season. Gifts were simplified, spending cut, and extra-curricular dropped (not exactly by choice, but when the family is sick . . .) Christmas this year looks different. Still, I am thankful.
When my oldest was born nearly 16 years ago, because he came in Red Deer, most of the family could meet him. Circumstances were not what we planned, but God worked the details out. Yes, I had to leave the hospital without my baby, but it was only for a short time. New Year's Day, we were all together as a family.
Now, I find myself in the hospital with my oldest. In the 16 years of raising 5 children, this is the first time any of them have needed to spend time in the hospital. Amazing, really.
I am thankful. My son is getting better, he's going to come home soon. We are in a place where the health care is rather remarkable. The circumstances of this Christmas are a bit less then ideal, but not devastating. Who am I to complain?
It's so easy to get caught up in the drama of everyday life and allow unexpected circumstances to set us into a tailspin. God hasn't promised us an exemption or pass when it comes to difficult or challenging times. He has said He would never leave or forsake us. He has said His grace is sufficient, God gives us peace in the midst of the less then ideal.
I see God taking care of our family. I know that He is in control. For that, I am thankful
an ordinary family who just wants to do what God wants
Monday, December 24, 2012
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Extreme Heart Makeover--Mexico Edition
It's been years since I've watched the show "Extreme Home Makeover". I guess the excessiveness in which the homes were built ended up being too much for my taste. However, for some reason. I recorded it this weekend and watched it over the last couple of days. This time, I didn't watch it so much from the perspective of the recipients, instead, my eyes (and heart) were drawn to those doing the building. The parallels between the home makeover and the house build our team did in Mexico were unmistakeable. It didn't stop there, however, I have began to see specifically where my heart has shifted and my view on life has changed.
The extreme home makeover tv show comes in and builds a new home for a family in a week. Often it's an "over-the-top" home that generally stuns and overwhelms the family. The generosity is obvious, yet it goes way beyond meeting the family's needs (whether truly beneficial or not, I don't want to say). What is incredible is how much a focused team can accomplish in such a short time. More often than not, the team walks away impacted by the joy of giving.
When we traveled to Mexico and did the build, we had the great privilege of seeing a family's life transformed. What started as a hut with tarps and irrigation piping ended with a strong walled home complete with windows, door and roof. We were able to see a house built, outhouse dug and a family given hope in only 5 days! What's even more amazing is what this build and trip did for our own family.
I think the first change I've seen in my family is the embarrassment of how much stuff we truly have. There's closets and boxes and seasonal clothes and then the things we just don't wear, use or need . . . Ugh, it's time to be more generous with what we have, resourceful with what's around us and reasonable with what we truly need.
The second change has hit me hard. I've never shed as many tears as I have in the last 2 1/2 months. My heart feels like it has been laid bare, as I've been overwhelmed by first, the expression of love and support from our church, second, by the incredible people we met on the trip and third, by the heartache and need we encountered. I've shared about our church and friends (again, thank you, your generosity still brings tears to my eyes), and I've shared a bit about the people I've met. Honestly, if we could return to Mexico tomorrow, to serve with any incredible people we met, we would. Our heart longs to be back. The men, women and children we've been able to get to know are daily in our thoughts and prayers. We see how God is moving, we see how His love is demonstrated daily and we see the impact that is being made on the community.
Most of the tears shed, however, have been for the needs we encountered. Daily, our hearts were touched by the poverty, pain, joy, and heartache we saw. In some, there was tremendous joy despite horrific circumstances, in others, a lifetime of pain reflected in the eyes of the very young. We were faced with things we never thought we would witness within driving distance (albeit a very long drive). We don't even look at our food the same way . . .after seeing the miles of greenhouses where much of our fruits and vegetables grown.
We were asked today if the trip was worth it . . .the years of saving, tears, sacrifice, driving, stomach ailments, fatigue . . . yes, a thousand times yes! It was a trip and an extreme heart makeover of a lifetime!
The extreme home makeover tv show comes in and builds a new home for a family in a week. Often it's an "over-the-top" home that generally stuns and overwhelms the family. The generosity is obvious, yet it goes way beyond meeting the family's needs (whether truly beneficial or not, I don't want to say). What is incredible is how much a focused team can accomplish in such a short time. More often than not, the team walks away impacted by the joy of giving.
When we traveled to Mexico and did the build, we had the great privilege of seeing a family's life transformed. What started as a hut with tarps and irrigation piping ended with a strong walled home complete with windows, door and roof. We were able to see a house built, outhouse dug and a family given hope in only 5 days! What's even more amazing is what this build and trip did for our own family.
I think the first change I've seen in my family is the embarrassment of how much stuff we truly have. There's closets and boxes and seasonal clothes and then the things we just don't wear, use or need . . . Ugh, it's time to be more generous with what we have, resourceful with what's around us and reasonable with what we truly need.
The second change has hit me hard. I've never shed as many tears as I have in the last 2 1/2 months. My heart feels like it has been laid bare, as I've been overwhelmed by first, the expression of love and support from our church, second, by the incredible people we met on the trip and third, by the heartache and need we encountered. I've shared about our church and friends (again, thank you, your generosity still brings tears to my eyes), and I've shared a bit about the people I've met. Honestly, if we could return to Mexico tomorrow, to serve with any incredible people we met, we would. Our heart longs to be back. The men, women and children we've been able to get to know are daily in our thoughts and prayers. We see how God is moving, we see how His love is demonstrated daily and we see the impact that is being made on the community.
Most of the tears shed, however, have been for the needs we encountered. Daily, our hearts were touched by the poverty, pain, joy, and heartache we saw. In some, there was tremendous joy despite horrific circumstances, in others, a lifetime of pain reflected in the eyes of the very young. We were faced with things we never thought we would witness within driving distance (albeit a very long drive). We don't even look at our food the same way . . .after seeing the miles of greenhouses where much of our fruits and vegetables grown.
We were asked today if the trip was worth it . . .the years of saving, tears, sacrifice, driving, stomach ailments, fatigue . . . yes, a thousand times yes! It was a trip and an extreme heart makeover of a lifetime!
Sunday, December 2, 2012
All To Jesus, I Surrender
Surrender, it's just one word, yet it can make such a difference. I remember when I was preparing for a mission trip to India and God brought me to a point of surrendering all that was near and dear to me at the time (even to the point of asking me if I was willing to risk my life). It wasn't a quick and easy choice . . .it took me over a week to surrender all that God asked of me. As a result of those choices years ago, my faith was multiplied.
Surrender takes on a whole new level when it goes beyond yourself. Surrender looks much different when you are now looking at a surrender of your spouse, your children, your home, etc. I can't help but sympathize with Abraham (or Sarah, for that matter) when he was asked to sacrifice Isaac. What would have been going through his head? Did he ever fear for the life of his child? What about Isaac? Did he sense that his life was on the line? What an incredible act of surrender!
When each of our children were born, we had them dedicated. It was a touching time in front of the church, and what were we doing? We were dedicating (or surrendering) our children to God.
So, after that, why are we surprised when God nudges us to surrender our family to Him?
It was a few years ago that one of my children approached me and said very seriously that they felt that they would not be staying in North America long term--they felt a call to missions. At that point, I had a whole new understanding and appreciation for my parents when they allowed me to spend 4 months in India as an 18 year old (later, when I almost died . . .I am sure they had some second thoughts). Surrender, when it impacts the life and well-being of those you care about, is probably the most difficult.
What we fail to understand is that God loves those we care about way more than we can ever comprehend. Surrender includes entrusting that which is precious to us into the hands of Someone who can truly protect, teach, guide, care for and love far better than I ever could.
So, back to my child . . . after that first second of panic, I felt like God reminded me that His plans and purposes were much bigger, and I could entrust this child in His hands). Time passed, I truly thought that I had surrendered my children . . .until one of my youngest sons told me in Mexico, that he didn't think he should ever go home because there was so much work for him to do there. My heart skipped a beat and tears filled my eyes because I could so easily see him involved in missions.
Yes, I know that this could all be a long time from now, but surrender isn't about missions, it's not about waiting for your kids to grow up, it's for today. Anything we hold too tightly to can easily get in the way of us trusting (or entrusting) God. So what is it that needs to be surrendered? For me, it is whatever comes to mind when I ask God. All to Jesus, I need to surrender.
Surrender takes on a whole new level when it goes beyond yourself. Surrender looks much different when you are now looking at a surrender of your spouse, your children, your home, etc. I can't help but sympathize with Abraham (or Sarah, for that matter) when he was asked to sacrifice Isaac. What would have been going through his head? Did he ever fear for the life of his child? What about Isaac? Did he sense that his life was on the line? What an incredible act of surrender!
When each of our children were born, we had them dedicated. It was a touching time in front of the church, and what were we doing? We were dedicating (or surrendering) our children to God.
So, after that, why are we surprised when God nudges us to surrender our family to Him?
It was a few years ago that one of my children approached me and said very seriously that they felt that they would not be staying in North America long term--they felt a call to missions. At that point, I had a whole new understanding and appreciation for my parents when they allowed me to spend 4 months in India as an 18 year old (later, when I almost died . . .I am sure they had some second thoughts). Surrender, when it impacts the life and well-being of those you care about, is probably the most difficult.
What we fail to understand is that God loves those we care about way more than we can ever comprehend. Surrender includes entrusting that which is precious to us into the hands of Someone who can truly protect, teach, guide, care for and love far better than I ever could.
So, back to my child . . . after that first second of panic, I felt like God reminded me that His plans and purposes were much bigger, and I could entrust this child in His hands). Time passed, I truly thought that I had surrendered my children . . .until one of my youngest sons told me in Mexico, that he didn't think he should ever go home because there was so much work for him to do there. My heart skipped a beat and tears filled my eyes because I could so easily see him involved in missions.
Yes, I know that this could all be a long time from now, but surrender isn't about missions, it's not about waiting for your kids to grow up, it's for today. Anything we hold too tightly to can easily get in the way of us trusting (or entrusting) God. So what is it that needs to be surrendered? For me, it is whatever comes to mind when I ask God. All to Jesus, I need to surrender.
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