Pruning for a purpose

 Recently I have noticed people working in their yards more now that it is warmer out.Everyone is busy weeding, raking, clipping their grass, and pruning their trees. But I can't help but notice how much extra effort my neighbors put into making their yard perfect.  It looks like it is right out of a gardening TV show or something. I mean there isn't a leaf, rock, blade of grass, or piece of dirt out of place. Everything just shows the care and attention taken for it. 

All of the trimming and pruning reminds me of a part of a book i read recently, in which the gardener of a vast orchard is pruning the grapevines; not only pruning them, but stripping the branches off until they are bare. Also in the book, the gardener plants the vines in rocky, hard soil. Here is an excerpt from the book:

"Consider this, I'm the gardener and I know what the vine needs in order to thrive. You see only the stripping, but I cut the vine in order to restore it, I take away from it to enrich it. You hold in your hand a withering branch and that's all you see now, but I know I have given the plant a new life. The vine needs to suffer. Going down into this earth-fighting to survive among the stones and lime rock-this is what gives it its unique character and aroma. These grapes will create a wine few other vineyards can compare with, not because their life was easy,  but because they had to struggle to survive." 

~Bardia the gardener, Harvest of Rubies by Tessa Afshar

A good gardener prunes all of  the previous branches, leaving the stem bare so more fruit is produced without the old branches hindering new growth. It has been proven that vines that are pruned more than the minimum produce a much greater harvest than those that weren't. Gardeners of vineyards have also said if the ground is hard and rocky the vine will have to fight to stay alive. If it does, the fruit is much richer in character and flavor than if life were perfect and easy. Suffering is needed to improve the flavor of the grape, but the gardener only added to its suffering. The one who was an expert caretaker, the one who the plants depended on to survive makes it suffer even more by cutting and slashing it until there is pretty much nothing left. In the book, the gardener said he had to cut it in order to restore it; he took away from it to enrich it. 

God is our expert gardener of our lives. He is carefully pruning you, cutting off all fruitless branches. Every experience is part of his pruning process. He cuts off areas of our lives that are dead or preoccupying our focus off of him; even if these areas of our lives are prosperous and perfect in our own eyes. Only the expert gardener would make us suffer and plant us in rocky ground to give us that unique character and sweet aroma of him that none other can compare to. The only way we develop that aroma of him is if we continue to fight to survive in the rocky soil while being stripped and cut. By continuing to trust the expert gardener who knows what He is doing-he isn't an amateur. 

You are God's little vine. When life is overwhelming you with trials, don't worry. It is just God pruning you, carefully preparing you for a greater harvest. Trust the expert gardener, He knows what he is doing. 

I am the Real Vine and my Father is the Farmer. He cuts off every branch of me that doesn't bear grapes. And every branch that is grape-bearing he prunes back so it will bear even more. You are already pruned back by the message I have spoken.

~John 15:1-3

I hope you feel encouraged by this. God bless!!          -Abigail 

Trusting God in the midst of Trials

       The journey of trusting God in the middle of the storm has most definitely been difficult. But it is one tiny step at a time towards healing. Trusting Him before my mom got sick was, and is very different than trusting Him now that she is gone. Before, it was more of trusting Him to just get me through what i needed to do, quickly-without running out of time in a day to get everything done. And to believe He knew what He was doing. But now, it is more of trusting God to give me the strength for what I can't do, and trusting that He will fill in the gaps that we cannot achieve alone-being mom and managing the house.
   
Shortly after mine and her birthdays, in March, mom got sick. It seemed like the stomach flu, so there was no reason to be concerned. After about a week, she still wasn't improving, so we took her to the hospital for some tests. When she was at home, she was present, but she wasn't really there. So, I started taking care of things at the house. Soon I managed most of the cooking, myself. During that time, we were about 1/3 or halfway though a children's ministry course we were teaching. I helped plan the lessons and actually taught a class because my mom couldn't be there. Taking on more of her responsibilities, and in a way 'becoming mom' was hard.

My personal struggle was becoming her temporarily, and still being me-being 16. While she was sick, the duties to be done didn't really change; the house still needed cleaning, food had to be cooked, market shopping still had to be done, people had to get paid, bible school lessons still needed to be written and taught, family nights had to continue, life had to go on. I took on most of the duties that mom did-it felt like it was kind of expected. No matter how hard i tried, i felt like i doing it all, alone with no help. On top of trying to do everything, I tried doing what i desperately needed to do for myself as well. When i got stressed out, i tried asking others for help, but i didn't feel the load lighten much. I felt alone, even though everyone else was trying to pull their own extra weight. Mentally, physically, and emotionally the pressure and stress of 3 weeks was draining me.
Mom got sick off and on like a slingshot. It made me trust and have faith in God that she would get better soon and be mom again, but then she worsened again. Everyday i prayed, "God, I know you know what you are doing. But it is hard and stressful right now. Your way is best, but I am weary; can you just heal mom soon? I trust you. Help me overcome everything today, and get it all done. Amen." It was intense, and everything changed in a way i didn't expect.

Now, having faith and trusting God has changed for me again. So many obstacles and terrible events have happened to us since then. Mom ended up going to her real home, we had to leave the beautiful country we were just beginning to know, recently our house just flooded-with some damage, and we are going to be moving soon. I don't know why these trials are happening to us, but i DO know and trust God has a plan to strengthen us through this, and that He still knows how to carry out his plan for us. My needs and perspective has changed when it comes to trusting my Creator now. I pray differently. Now it is more like, "God, Please give me the strength to accomplish Your plan for today. I am still struggling to continue being me, most of the time. Fill the holes that i can't today. I can't do this alone! Thank you. You know what is best for me. Amen." I still have really terrible days, and my life is far from together, but God is STILL in control. We all work together now to do the household tasks, so i don't feel it is all on me anymore! I will continue to have days i can't do everything, but I will continue to keep my trust and faith firmly planted in Him.

When Peter took his eyes off of Jesus, He focused on the waves, and began to sink. But in the midst of the storm, Jesus was right there. When Peter called out to Him, Jesus picked him back up again. No matter what is going on, if you, or I take our eyes off of the Lord and not trust Him when the waves come-and not trust He sees everything and He knows what He is doing, we will sink.

"I know what it is to be in need, and i know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through him who gives me strength."    ~Philippians 4:12-13

 "And we know in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been call according to his purpose."   ~Romans 8:28

Faith is not knowing                               

 What the future holds,                                  

But knowing                                                    

Who holds the future 

          

 Blessings to all,

-Abigail

Picking up pieces

Hi everyone. Yes, indeed it has been a while to put something down.  I made a promise to honor the writing that Renae had started.  Life has taken quite a twist, and I do not know what to expect one day to the next.  I shall recap some of the last several weeks. 

We had decided to return back to Canada to do the final effects for Renae.  While doing so, We had asked for two dear friends to help us come and pack up the house and clean up business good.  In the process, we as a family pondered life,and really grieved together as a family. We saw several small miracles happening this time. One big divine encounter happened when dear friends working around us had contacted a grief councelor our behalf.  We found out she was from a Cdn city close to where we lived, and having worked in Kigali for a couple years. Cool, this counsellor knew of Rwandan and Canadian culture.  We were able to have several sessions in the brief time there, and help with a foundation to work together.  I found out after the fact that many people were working around the clock to try to get us home as quickly as possible. This does not normally happen, especially with a national holiday in the process.  Emotionally, we could not stay in our mission house, because we had did some extra work cleaning and making it special for her returning home, only to have our lives turn sideways in the afternoon. 

 The compassion home we stayed at had young children for the youngest two to play with.  Both this family and the next door family had dealt with family tragedies that helped us understand more of the grieving process.  We saw so many small things come together in a few days. Long story shortened, we were able to pack up all things, complete business,havae a memorial service, and secure Renae to come home safely in around six days, probably ought to take several weeks. Only God could have made this possible.  Govt agencies there want original paperwork, and take their time, somehow the process came through when it needed to, although it was very trying at the time.  

The last day before heading back to Canada was a designated time at a beautiful lake.  This was so important for us to officially say goodbye to this land, but also to really grieve in a proper way.  It was so hard to realize the only reason we were there, well, is because she wasn't.

How does life continue somehow?  Now what?  I know these questions rise up from any who lost a close person.  I have to wonder if the disciples said the same questions around the cross of Jesus.  I wonder if people in distant areas did not hear the news for a time, maybe as long as several months.  Would those same people heard eventually that He rose again?   

While the last days in a compassion house, I got to spend a lot of time looking across the valley and picturing what was going on in the beginning of the genoside, but I had to wonder the same questions.    What really happened here?  Who would clean up the ugliness of the multitude of bodies?  How does life continue now? Is there any hope anywhere?  Yes, there is. I got the privilege to talk and grieve with some young young people who trusted me enough to tell their stories.  Just these encouraged me enough there is hope, you can survive, God uses the picture for a bigger good. I just have to pick up the pieces, and give them over to Another who can do so much more with it. 

As I try to compile this later on, I am in a thick emotional fog.  How do we do the nessassary things? How does life continue somehow?  Now what?  I know these questions rise up so frequently in my own head.  I just have to pick up the pieces..God can still use them.

Changes

Hello everyone. Have you ever noticed how life sometimes makes changes that you never expect? We have seen a lot here in this amazing country of Rwanda.  Genocide memorial week here covered the news this past week. Some of the rules in place for the week include: a half day working only in the morning, no drums to be played, no football (soccer) games, if children are to play it is quietly, and respectfully.  I have looked over the valley here and see the city in the distance, I have to wonder what it would have looked like  20 years ago.  I my mind, I can see fire in many places, gunshots all over, people running, screaming, general mayhem  and anarchy in a very short order. I look at the mist, I cannot help wonder what was going on  a night before, or even few hours earlier,  Did anyone know trouble was brewing, or was the events a complete blindside. Much does not make sense, even years later- i have heard so many people have thought "what was I thinking? Where do i go?  Now what?"  Yet, in the midst of it, the people are making strides to heal the wounds of the past.  I have learned the government tries to provide many opportunities to get counselling to deal with the emotional scars.  Many meetings are in the afternoon to allow people to express emotion, or just to talk.  I find the healing that has happened  has been small, but profound steps.
As i look at the events of the last week, how parallel our life is compared to the people here.  I have learned of emotion that can only be found in loosing a close person.  I have learned to have a lot more patience in knowing I cannot change to many circumstances.  I have learned of how deep that fog can quickly become.  I have learned gained a deeper level of crying out in a time of need, Somehow God brings just the right people into play.  My life is not big, but my God is, even if I do not have a clue what to do.
My life is forever altered in a moment.  My friends here over the age of 20 were altered on a moment. They have learned to start differently. I see the growth has been incredible in this country; while mine will just begin. Healing has progressed, i hope mine does too. Are you ready if time is cut short?  However many car accidents or shootings or whatever bad may come, are you ready for eternity? With  Easter approaching quickly, I had to wonder as much as Jesus spoke of His death coming, how much did it  blindside them at the day of?  When Jesus rose again, he gave the disciples a new life, a new purpose, a new direction.  He conquered the finality of he grave,  lives now transformed.

Renae is no longer with us, she is in a better place, totally transformed.  We shall celebrate her life on April 23, Lethbridge, at 1:30.   
Sometimes God does change plans very quickly..... 

Old things coming alive...

Hi everyone, I'm so sorry there has not been a blog for a while.  Let me explain our life over the last several weeks. With rainy season happening we have lost Internet connection more than like to admit.      However, on a much more serious note, Renae came down with a stomach ailment that has really stopped life as was known, down to just what is necessary. This has come onto her March 16 suddenly, into the hospital for several days, home to start the recovery, only to see a big slide about a week later, and being  admitted again, this time for over a week.  Kim has come in daily to visit and be with, but there is also tending to our children, and doing whatever slight bit needed to be kept running at the children's home.  It sure was not easy to be in the different directions  simultaneously .  The doctors had no concrete idea, even after running some tests, it seemed to take a while for symptoms to be eliminated.  So now, a little later, we do have some concrete points to go with.  Even though it is painful in the process, it is good to praise God in the midst of it, there is a starting point.
Many years ago when Renae was in collage, she got the privilege of going on a mission trip to India with a missionary friend.  Sadly, while there her appendix ruptured, spewing poison all into her abdomum .  Later on  in life, difficult pregnancies took their toll as well.  Now, a few years later still, stomach issues showed its ugly head once again.  Renae has found  out she does have a case of gastritis, but due to previous events, what should take a few days for most people to recover from, could take several weeks.

The doctors have been doing their best, and unknown to us until recently, several international doctors have been monitoring vitals behind the scenes. It has been a process of patience for Kim, often the western approach seems to hit a problem with many tests, fnnd something unusual or spiked, the find a solution.  It does appear here in this country there is more of a "sniper" approach, eliminate on symptom at a time, then find a solution.  Both work , just  a difference of time.                  

I am thankful we have medicine and technology today. I have wondered going  through this storm, what could have this looked like 50 years ago, or even 100 when support looked much different?

Have you ever noticed how things you thought were taken care of, and fully recovered from, come back to haunt us sometimes? Maybe health issues, or a particular habit that could have started as a younger one, released  from for many years, suddenly creep in  twenty years later.  I look at the events of the past, I had to wonder did I fully renew my mind on that subject according to the Bible,  or did I just say for knowledge, not a change in attitude?   Hmmm, points to ponder.

Renae is not discharged from the hospital yet, hoping in the next day or two. Please keep praying for her and the rest of the family.

 Blessings to you all.
-Kim

Escape the parasite

For years, worry seemed to be the "honourable" way to show care or concern.  It was acceptable and even applauded.  My views of worry shifted dramatically when I read a devotional that compared worry to a parasite, feasting on our negative thoughts.  I don't about you, but that paints a rather shocking picture--something out of a sci-fi movie . . .ewww!

Worry can attack us anytime, anywhere.  It can seem petty (wondering about a job getting paid for, needs being met), or it can feel very serious (will I find a job, get better? Be able to pay my rent?) never-the-less, the results are the same--more emphasis is placed in the problem, instead of the problem solver.  

The bible takes a clear stand on worry.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:34 NIV)

Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. (Luke 12:22 NIV)

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. (Psalm 55:22 NIV)

So, despite the bible warning us not to worry, why is is we find ourselves falling into worry's trap?  

Perhaps part of the problem is fear of the unknown.  As we were getting rady for our first flight on the journey to Rwanda, the youngest two were excited, confident and ready for the adventure.  They proudly found their seats and settled in for the ride.  It wasn't until we were thundering done the runway and beginning to lift off the ground that my youngest realized that we would be traveling in the air.  As he looked outside at the city lights fading away, he tightly gripped my hand and asked if we would fall out of the sky.  Worry was etched on his face as he tried to blink away tears.  I closed the window shutter and we talked about the pilot, how the plane flew and trusting in God.  In a few hours, he was looking outside.  At the next plane ride, he was looking outside and more excited.  By the last flight, both boys were anticipating take-off, their worry was replaced by trust.  

What about legitimate dangers?  How do we balance wisdom and caution with worry?  We've had to do this.  The first came with driving.  Driving in Rwanda is not relaxing.  It's not the time to lose yourself in a book.  It's honestly the time you probably pray the most!  Very quickly after arriving, Kim took on the role as driver.  I needed to trust in his abilities and trust that God is with me.  Kim does excellent here.  He's watchful, aware and adventurous enough to avoid hazards.  When I start to fret, I remember that traffic accidents occur just as often in Canada . . .

Being sick has been challenging, especially when it was Joel.  Worry welled up quickly and I really needed to keep handing it over to God (casting cares, right?).  God directed us and we stepped out when needed to.  As a result, Joel is completely recovered.  Now I am just getting over being sick.  It's been slow and frustrating, but I know God has been with me.  Was I worried? Honestly, no, I compared it with feeling under the weather in Canada and based my next step off of that.  I still see God is with me.

Perhaps taking a stand against worry has been our family's biggest growth point in being here.  We are learning to not allow the parasite (ugh, just the thought is gross) of worry to attach itself to us.  We are thankful for God's lesson:)

Be blessed today and thank you for your continued prayers and support.  We appreciate you so much!